What is childhood trauma?
What is childhood trauma?
Childhood trauma is defined as having experienced an event that is dangerous, violent, and frightening with a direct threat over a child’s life or bodily harm. A child may also witness an event that causes harm to loved ones. Over time if it is not healed it becomes insidious and creeps into different aspects of your life. Trauma can impact the mental, physical and social emotional well-being of individuals. In this blog, I will define trauma in the context of childhood.
Types of Abuse
Physical abuse is defined as an act or failure to act in a circumstance that leads to harm even if the injury was unintentional (Prevent Child Abuse America). The results can include but are not limited to the following: cuts, bruises, welts, red marks, muscle sprains or broken bones. Neglect is the ongoing and persistent pattern of refusing to adequately provide basic needs like food, water, shelter and lack of supervision or failing to provide appropriate clean clothing to a child. For example leaving a 9 year old to care for an infant or toddler is lack of adequate supervision and can result in injury.
Sexual abuse is when there is a sexual interaction between a child and adult (or child), used to for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or observer. Sexual abuse includes non touching behaviors and touching behaviors. The non touching behaviors include exposing a child to pornography, voyeurism (trying to look at a child’s naked body), and exhibitionism. Childhood sexual abuse does not discriminate against age, gender, ethnic bacground, socioeconomic background and religion.
Bullying is a type of violence that involves a child using a pattern of teasing or harassing another child in a variety of contexts. It can be on the playground, a school bus, on social media, and even in the same neighborhood of the victim. In the last few years bullying on social media has made it more stressful for children that have access to cell phones and still are learning things like body image as well as limits of what to post on the internet.
Domestic violence is often an overlooked trauma that many children witness every year and can overlap with child abuse. Domestic violence is a pattern of intimate violence between two adults that is often witnessed by minors. Domestic violence can include physical violence, emotional manipulation and even stalking, especially after the victim leaves the relationship. The most dangerous time for a victim is when she decides to leave and especially when she is pregnant. Domestic violence can also include financial abuse. Many times the perpetrator will have complete access and control over the family’s finances. The perpetrator can either be very stingy in allowing certain spending to happen and has various ways to restrict spending for others in the family. Perpetrators can often spend freely on their own hobbies and withhold spending money on their own child’s enrichment or interests. Emotional violence can include threats with the children if the partner is thinking about leaving and tracking her every move with tracking devices or looking through her phone. This happens even as relationships end and in high conflict divorces.
Small “t” Trauma
Sometimes small “t” trauma can be overlooked but still have a great impact on a child’s well being. Here are some examples of small “t” trauma:
Loss of a job
Growing up financially unstable
Not having enough to eat
Infidelity
Persistent legal issues between parents or as single parents
Moving frequently and housing difficulty
Untreated postpartum depression/anxiety
Children thrive in having consistent and predictable routines. They also enjoy when their parents get along and role model healthy conflict resolution. For example, if a parent is being too critical of the child, the other parent can say, “I think you are being too hard on him or her. Let’s give him/her a chance.” The parent giving the feedback is kind, respectful and modeling boundaries. The other parent can be reflective in the moment, doesn’t take it personally and can slow down to understand the child’s needs. The child feels seen and understood by both parents.
In families with financial stress, events can feel unpredictable. The child may wonder, “will I have enough money for lunch today?” Many middle class families are currently dealing with constraints of inflation and a possible recession in America. Children are keen observers and emotionally keep up with any tension in the room. They pick on how parents talk about money, when they spend money, and when money is a point of contention. When there are other constraints like legal issues or financial instability it can create too much stress for a child. Kids may go to bed hungry and have responsibilities like an adult worried about their family’s financial stability.
Lack of resources and shame in asking for help for mothers is another example of “small t.” The label of “small t” can be deceptive as a mother left untreated for her depression and anxiety impacts her and her family greatly. Often the insidious nature of untreated mental health disorders in adults add up and children are the ones left to absorb this impact. This is often complicated with systems that are substandard care. The health care in America is completely broken and has been for far too long. Mental health is seen as the bottom of the barrel in terms of care and has been separated from the physical care that is often seen as more important. In reality, mental health and physical health are so intertwined. Mental health impacts physical health and over time it can chip away at having a healthy life.
Big “T” Trauma
Big “T” is when a child experiences a life threatening event that significantly impacts them. Some examples are:
Physical, sexual, psychological abuse, and neglect (including trafficking)
Natural disasters and technological disasters (terrorism)
Family or community violence (mass shootings)
Sudden or violent loss of a loved one
Substance use disorder (personal or familial)
Refugee and war experiences (including torture)
Serious accidents or life threatening illnesses
Military family related stressors (deployment or parental loss or PTSD)
A child may have endured sexual abuse and witnessed domestic violence. As they develop into adulthood the impact of trauma follows them into parenthood. For example, a mother is fast asleep in the middle of the night and like expected, her young child opens the bedroom door at night to snuggle with his mother. This parent who was traumatized as a child herself can wake up and yell “I'm scared” in the middle of the night upon hearing their young child come into their bedroom. The adult that was traumatized in the past can be immediately startled by the innocuous noise her child makes of a door opening. However, the noise that was made when they were abused by someone at night can elicit the trauma that remains to be processed. The sleep disturbance of being easily startled for the parent, transports her with the auditory sounds of her past trauma.
Risk and Protective Factors
Not everyone that goes through a traumatic experience will be impacted by it. A lot of it depends on factors like the following:
Severity of the event. How serious was the event? Did a loved one have to go to the hospital? Did they get separated from their caregiver?
Proximity to the event
Caregiver’s reactions
Prior history of trauma
Family and Community factors
Parenting in an era of where violence is pervasive and considered part of the everyday for children can be traumatic. Parents need a supportive family structure like friends, family, and community. However, sometimes it’s hard to get your needs met as parents especially if you are a survivor. I work exclusively with mothers and parents that are survivors of childhoo trauma. Many of these parents need support in navigating these very pressing times. You may call at 803-573-0279, email me at therapy@veronicadelpino.com or schedule a free introductory call here.
