Motherhood Undercover
Mothers Undercover
I started watching a show on Hulu called Mothers Undercover. The documentary follows four real life mothers that went undercover for their children. Their stories were unbelievable yet somehow it didn’t surprise me what mothers will do for their children. A mother’s love for her child can propel her to realize how much power she possesses. These four mothers have separate cases that deal with corruption, kidnapping, murder, and even one of the deadliest mass suicides in U.S history.
I am very suspicious of documentaries that make money off of victims simply because so many systems fail them. Was this another entity willing to sensationalize the never ending saga of a vulnerable population?
Initially, I thought for a moment that the documentary was sensationalizing crimes committed against children with vulnerable mothers. The legal and judicial system was failing their child in each of these cases. However, these mothers took it upon themselves to save their child.
All four cases were women that took matters into their own hands in a way that took an immense amount of courage because they wanted to find answers they weren’t getting “the right way” through the judicial system. Something in each of these mother’s hearts launched them to do whatever they needed to do to find their child. There is something very real and determined about a mother willing to risk so much for her child.
2016 Philadelphia
The first case was very tragic because this mother, Lisa Espinosa lost her 26 years old son when he was shot and killed on the streets of Philadelphia. The detective working the case was unable to find out any other information. The murder was filmed on a cell phone with witnesses watching outside in public. Lisa went as far to speak to anyone in the community and those involved in the video that day her son was killed. Her determination and courage was remarkable as she continued to search for her son’s murderer. Gang violence is pervasive and when anyone in the community tries to “snitch” on gang members, they are immediately silenced. Gang members attempted to threaten Lisa Espinosa once she kept digging and started getting closer to finding her son’s murderer.
From the moment she realized it was up to her to solve this case, Lisa was dauntless. She ended up collecting more evidence to hand over to the detective on the case and then eventually worked closely with a journalist to publicly share what was happening. This mother was relentless and would go out on the streets at night to talk to potential witnesses. Like many mothers, we are challenged with the judicial system. Some mothers feel defeated and even though they continue to persist in trying to solve these issues, they come up against some similar defeating circumstances. Mothers deserve to feel supported in their role and so many often minimize their resourceful backgrounds, persistence, knowledge, and instincts.
Kidnapping to South Korea 2007
Tiffany Hottee’s son, Kobe, had a weekend away with his father, Jeff. However, soon Tiffany realized that Jeff had taken Kobe to South Korea without her consent or knowledge. Yes, Jeff kidnapped their son to another country. Tiffany knew Jeff was controlling and abusive. Likely Jeff did this to control and manipulate her son and hurt Tiffany.
Tiffany researched online and started a campaign to find her son, Kobe in South Korea. A teacher in Korea reached out to Tiffany in response. Soon enough Tiffany found out that Jeff was trying to get Korean citizenship for Kobe. This would make it harder to bring Kobe back to the United States.
Eventually, Tiffany traveled internationally with Mark Miller of a non-profit that helps parents with kidnapping cases like hers. Tiffany is Black and this would prove to be an obstacle to moving unnoticed in Korea, so she disguised herself. Shealso went to great lengths to disguise her son with a wig so they would be unnoticed. Tiffany knew the risks and worked with the U.S Embassy to help her arrive in a safe place before finally reaching the airport to leave South Korea.
Many mothers have had to deal with these scenarios where a partner has some sort of revenge he wants to take out on the mother so he takes her children. A threat like this is enough to pressure a woman to stay or likely have to deal with if they are divorced. Mothers already deal with so much stress and that’s amplified by a manipulative and dangerous partner. This is yet another reason women stay in relationships with abusive partners. Threats to harm them or take their child are very real.
Corruption
Frieda Hanimov is a Russian Jewish immigrant and mother of three children, dealing with an estranged husband. In 2002, she found herself in a divorce and custody battle. Hanimov then was arrested and falsely accused of abusing their first born. She was also pregnant at the time. Court proceedings ordered that her oldest son go live with her estranged husband. This mother was released from jail but then had to deal with these false allegations in family court.
Eventually she met a man, Nissam Elmann in court who successfully was able to get full custody of his own children. Hanimov asked Elmann how he was able to do this. Elmann admitted to paying the judge millions of dollars so the judge would rule in his favor. Hanimov then realized she was involved in a possible corruption case and contacted the District Attorney. She was able to wear a recording device in order to get the evidence on record. Hanimov successfully risked her time, energy and personal safety in order to expose the corruption keeping her from her children.
What I saw in Hanimov is what I see a lot in women that are stuck in abusive relationships with estranged men or ex-husbands. Women like this have to endure not just what they went through with their abusive partner but then it continues with court proceedings and judges' rulings. The challenges just keep stacking up.
Jonestown and kidnapping
It was the 1970s and Leslie Wagner-Wilson joined the Jim Jones cult, the People’s Temple, in San Francisco, California. Leslie then met her husband, Joe and they went on to have a son named Jakari.
Jim Jones, the founder of the People’s Temple, decided to move the entire cult to Jonestown in Guyana in South America. At first Leslie allowed her husband to take her son there because she didn’t want to go. After a while, Leslie realized she needed to be with her son and went to the compound in Guyana.
Leslie quickly discoveredthat this cult was filled with abusive tactics to separate kids and families, threats of mass suicide, and the dangerous use of weapons. In 1975, Congressman Leo Ryan took a trip to Guyana to find out what exactly was happening there. The Congressman had taken a couple of journalists, and concerned family of the cult members. It was at this point when everyone was distracted by the investigative visit from Congress and the media that Leslie planned her exit strategy with others that wanted to do the same.
Leslie knew the risks and wanted to do everything possible to get her son, Jakari out of there safely. The tragic ending was when Jim Jones and his followers attacked the Congressman and 3 journalists, and one member that tried to defect. Jim Jones eventually killed the Congressman and those investigating their cult. At that point Jim Jones had convinced all the members of a mass suicide in drinking poisoned kool aid. It was over 900 that were found dead and it was one of the largest mass suicides every to have occurred and 304 of them that died were children. This was an event in a church lead by an extreme Evangelical leader that was manipulative, abusive, and would blackmail his followers to have them follow his delusional ideas.
Clergy and cult abuse is nothing new and it has continued today. Many of these fundamentalist and extreme cult groups use abusive tactics on vulnerable populations. People that trust them with their tieding, their faith and they are looking for guidance. Predators look for people that have few resources and are vulnerable in trusting people to help them.
Isolated and Undercover
This striking documentary details how much violence has not changed over time and how mothers will decide to do whatever it takes to save their child. These four mothers were methodical and relentless in saving their child from further violence. I also observed how these four mothers did not resort to violence against their perpetrators.
What stood out as well were the enablers that were watching all this unfold and doing little to nothing about it. The community members in Philadelphia with Lisa were scared to speak up because they felt threatened in being targeted as a “snitch.” Similarly, in sexual abuse, community violence and gun violence the “enablers” exist, allowing everything hidden to keep working out for the perpetrator. In cases of sexual abuse, many offenders are rarely caught and even if they are, the sentences are light. Once released, many perpetrators continue to prey on other families. Clergy abuse runs rampant in various religious organizations and perpetrators look for those willing to help them. Whether it’s with a continuous tithe or being scared to retaliate. In motherhood living with intimate violence, the partner will threaten, manipulate and emotionally abusive relationships are even harder to prove.. They make a mother feel small and their husbands are typically the ones with financial control.
If you are a mother that has survived childhood traumas, there is support. I am currently accepting clients in the Carolinas and in Illinois. My work is highly tailored for mothers that have been abused as children. You can call me at 803-573-0279, email me here and schedule here.
