Harriet Tubman was a Cycle Breaker
When I think of Harriet Tubman, I begin to delve into the meaning of a survivor, a cycle breaker, and a relentless advocate for others. Tubman is one of the bravest women during that era to make the bold moves she accomplished. She was born enslaved, had parents that were enslaved, and lost her siblings when they were separated, then sold to other slave owners. Her courage was beyond any free man during that time and after finding her freedom she returned back to free others in what is now well known as the Underground Railroad. Harriet Tubman was a trauma survivor due to a traumatic head injury that occurred when she was 12 years old. This event and what unfolded after, would prove to the world that she was meant for so much more. This blog is about Harriet Tubman’s spirit in that she was ahead of her time as a survivor of trauma. Further yet, she was a cycle breaker and her unshakeable faith in God gave her strength not just to free herself but so many others that would begin the process of unlocking intergenerational trauma.
Tubman’s Early Childhood Trauma
Tubman grew up in an extremely oppressive, inhumane, and in a terrorizing time of American History. Harriet was raised as an enslaved girl and was given tasks by her masters at age 5 years old to care for babies. This never allowed her to live a life as a young child. As such a petite girl, she was barely able to hold a baby so she sat down to care for the owner's baby. She suffered many unjustified whippings because as a child she was given unrealistic expectations to complete the role of a caregiver. At a preschool age Tubman was given the impossible caregiver responsibilities and sadly she suffered horrifying abusive consequences when she was unable to complete the role, at the hands of her slave owners.
At 12 years old she was extremely observant and always looking out for others even if that meant she was placing herself in harm’s way. Harriet had noticed an enslaved man trying to leave without permission. She followed the enslaved man to warn him that the overseer was after him. When the overseer arrived and saw both of them, he ordered Harriet to tie up the runaway slave. Harriet refused and in the middle of the conflict, the overseer tried to hurl a two-pound iron bar at the fleeing slave. Instead, it hit Harriet in the head causing her to be knocked out unconscious and she almost died. The impact of this injury caused many headaches and seizures that would plague her for the rest of her life. She further had to deal with falling asleep and have trance-like states at times. Harriet often delved and relied on her faith to manage the impact of her trauma and to help her get through the turbulent times.
However, Harriet’s faith would be carrying her through so many nebulous moments and she knew God had a deeper purpose for herself. Tubman had grown up with an unshakable faith that she felt God was speaking to her when she was having visions due to her traumatic head injury. As a young child, Harriet learned a lot about nature in the woods due to having to do so much labor outside. She would cut and haul logs for her slave owners so much that she became familiar with the waterways and Black seamen who ferried timber along the river. Many times, children focus on the most essential things like nature to make it through the trauma. This ability to focus on the present moment with nature was her grounding effort and is a wonderful example of her resilience as a child. This aspect of her resilience laid down the foundation of which would give her the hope and curiosity of how to make her next steps to escape her oppressor.
Running away
Harriet as an adult often thought of running away to have her freedom as she likely dreamed of disrupting this pattern of horrific life of enslavement. Harriet attempted to escape with her adult two brothers but that fell through because her brothers were fearful of getting caught. There was even a $300 reward for Harriet Tubman and her two brothers. Harriet pleaded with her brothers but then decided to return with them. Harriet determined that a month later she would try to escape again. There was no ideal time for Harriet to escape and she only yearned for freedom.
I imagine that she was very keen on the timing of things and when she could escape. I also imagined Harriet as a visionary. I felt deep anguish when I learned that she had “visions” as a result of her brain injury. These horrifying injuries were filled with painful headaches and seizures that she likely never received treatment for and yet she persevered. Her ways of constantly being in the woods and in nature gave her an advantage to make the truck of escaping north where slavery was no longer considered. Harriet knew the severe risk she was taking and did it anyway because she no longer could put up with this life of enslavement.
Moreover, she felt that her visions were God’s way of speaking to her and creating her script to carry out her mission in helping other enslaved people. Being enslaved had its own childhood trauma likely for Harriet. She kept trying though to find meaning and to live a better life than the one that was handed to her. Harriet wanted more than to survive her enslaved life. She was also aware that her family deserved to be saved since she could no longer bear the idea of being free without them. Her attachment to her family gave her the strength to return to save them.
Cycle Breaker
Harriet was a cycle breaker and she wanted to break the chains the masters had on her family members that were enslaved. She was a cycle breaker to those that were enslaved outside of her family too and that needed her help. She found those abolitionists that were invested in her same values of freedom. She took steps every day to somehow learn how to be resilient even though she faced so much adversity. Harriet knew her soul needed to heal and the way it was going to manifest was through her actions. She was an active person that knew the woods and was going to do whatever it took to help the abolitionist movement make its way to help others enslaved in the South.
Harriet’s complex and resilient traits are not lost on me. I have read many things that she likely did to survive like having songs she sang to make meaning of all her losses. Music is the balm for so many survivors and she connected to it to help her survive. She heavily relied on her spiritual connections to God that would propel her to eventually bring her parents back north. Harriet’s positive connection to nature likely gave her a sense of calm and purpose. It makes sense now that I see her way of connecting with the land she worked so hard for others to benefit. In the same way, her hard labor in toiling away was not only for her owners but for her future self. There are many ways to feel such a sense of accomplishment and calmness that nature offers. The daylight and the grounding one feels when interacting with the soil of the earth. This is not to forget that many enslaved people were suffering under dire work conditions that were extreme and that they didn’t receive proper fuel or a place to sleep to get adequate rest. Yet there was Harriet following her north star her father once showed her and she continued to make it part of her identity to save others.
Embodying Resilience
When I think of Harriet I want to fully acknowledge her dire conditions and what she did in helping so many. I want to learn more about what she did to make her actions so effective. One of the things I did take away was that she had inherited a very beautiful part of her soul that was based on her belief in God. That spiritual connection is what anchored her and gave her a vision. I understand that not everyone has this and perhaps there is pain associated with religion. There are other ways you can begin having a connection with spirituality that have less to do with your own trauma. This can be by participating in an activity that connects you with others in a different way such as a book club or just a gathering to think of Harriet Tubman and her life. This can be with other mothers and people in your community that have similar values. Meeting regularly with mothers that have a similar sense of humor and that simply understand your own history. These “Harriet Happenings” can be a way to connect with her spirit in honoring her. This can also be a way to be inspired, bring hope to your community, and thrive.
Another aspect of Harriet was how willing her actions were to disrupt those that were at the top with all the power, the slave owners. For her, the risk to do nothing and live in fear outweighed the risk to escape her enslavement. For many survivors, it is certainly very complex and I want you to know that finding people can be difficult. However, there are the kind people that do want to help.
Harriet was discerning and learned to have skills to know who is on your side. Who is genuinely interested in your well being. Finding those people will help you in your healing process. Mothers may be highly driven by their children and oftentimes they want to stop the cycle of abuse so that they break the cycle of intergenerational trauma.
I provide therapy for mothers that have been abused in their childhood. This includes childhood sexual abuse and other complex trauma such as witnessing violence in their home. I am currently accepting clients in North Carolina, South Carolina and Illinois. I specialize in working with mothers that are looking to do EMDR therapy and that need a Spanish speaking therapist. I have over a decade of working with mothers that have been last on the list of getting help. You can self schedule your free 15 min free consultation here or call here and email here.
References:
She Persisted: Harriet Tubman by Andrea Davis Pinkney
Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad by Susan Dudley Gold
Break the Cycle by Dr. Mariel Buque
