What is Erin’s Law?
Erin is a survivor, activist, writer, speaker, and a mother. In 2008, she began to write to legislators about body safety to be taught in public schools. Erin’s law is the first U.S. child abuse law requiring public schools to teach children about personal body safety. Child sexual abuse is underreported and devastating for families as well as their communities. Perpetrators are master manipulators and target children to keep their secret in order to get away with their crimes. Personal body safety has become extensively problematic as the rise of peer to peer abuse has significantly increased from 30% of cases to 70%. The pandemic increased the amount of children staying home with potential perpetrators and with the rise of children exposed to the internet, this has likely contributed to the increased rate. This blog is about defining what is Erin’s law and how parents can become more empowered in understanding it to keep children safe against potential perpetrators. I will also address the importance of teachers and school officials in assisting parents to further understand Erin’s law.
Erin’s law
Erin’s law came to fruition because of her redemptive survivor’s story. Erin had been abused by two known perpetrators starting at age 6 years old by an adult male who was a neighbor’s uncle and then again by a male cousin soon starting in her tween years. Erin is a force to be reckoned with because after all her childhood sexual abuse experiences, she decided one day she had enough and it was because of her sister. Her sister had shared with Erin, she too was being victimized by this same cousin. At that moment Erin knew she had to do something for herself and her family. She disclosed the abuse to the forensic interviewer at a Children's Advocacy Center and this was the very beginning of her finding voice again.
Throughout the years she has fought against lobbying groups that push against her legislation because there is fear and misinformation about what is going to be taught to children in public schools. Body safety education is about helping children use their voice about how children have a right to say “no, you can’t do that to me!” Children can begin to identify red flag behavior in potential perpetrators and tell a safe adult if something tricky is happening even between peers at school.
Erin’s law is about teaching children body safety education that empowers children to understand the idea of boundaries, body autonomy, and consent. I wrote extensively on these issues in a three part blog series. Even though the word “boundary” has become more talked about in our society, my blog addresses how to start understanding boundaries as a parent first. Erin’s law teaches children age appropriate sexual abuse prevention techniques & when to tell a trusted adult.
Erin’s law further mandates that teachers, staff and other volunteers that come into contact with children at public schools ages K-12 be trained in body safety education. Parents are informed of Erin’s law being taught and given resources if a child discloses. It’s important for parents to know that Erin’s law has been passed in 38 states and she is getting closer to passing it in all 50 states. Body safety is about teaching children age appropriate body safety education because they are the boss of their bodies. That no one has the right to touch their body without their consent. There are many ways staff and teachers can begin making their classroom a safe place for children to disclose if they don’t already have a safe adult at home. Many parents may decide to opt out from their own child in learning about body safety with Erin’s law in public schools. That is their choice.
Parents must consider being informed about Erin’s law because otherwise it may that leave a child vulnerable in becoming a statistic. A parent that choose to opt out is a less empowered family about body safety education, and the more likely a perpetrator will target them. Perpetrators look for families that are lacking information and education on keeping kids safe. Perpetrators further target large communities like large youth serving organizations and religious private schools that are embarrassed to teach their staff about Erin’s law. This lack of information for adults enables perpetrators to potentially be hired in schools, churches, and summer camp programs. In turn, this environment that has a lack of kids’ body safety education, making children over years to being vulnerable to be manipulated in keeping their abuser’s secret. Erin’s law has the potential of reducing the likelihood your child will be abused and can disclose if it starts happening.
Many survivors never disclose their abuse because they have been manipulated by the perpetrator and threatened that they will never be believed or some other lie, if they tell. The safe adults may be distracted and likely are being groomed by the perpetrator. Perpetrators manipulate entire religious organizations like the Catholic Church. Another example is Larry Nazar as an athletic medical coordinator for the USA Gymnastics Olympics from 1996 to 2014. Nazar can manipulate even safe adults that lack body safety information, as he had over 500 victims. Entire communities are completely devastated by perpetrators. The safe adults need to be called in to stop the perpetrators and it begins with parents and schools working together to take Erin’s law more seriously in protecting children against perpetrators.
Why is Erin’s Law so important?
Erin’s law is critical for children, parents, teachers and their communities because this law lets the perpetrator know their manipulation will be noticed and immediately reported. A perpetrator relies on children and parents being in the dark about body safety. It’s important to be an empowered parent that has ongoing conversations with your child about how no one is allowed to touch their child's private parts. Perpetrators look for parents that have vulnerabilities like if a parent is hesitant in talking about all the age appropriate nuances of Erin’s law & on how your child has every right to say “I said no!” Parents must teach their child on how to embody their own confidence that they are the boss of their body and that they will tell a trusted adult if anyone tries to touch them inappropriately.
Teachers must also be educated on when a perpetrator is exhibiting grooming behavior. A perpetrator will often groom the adults surrounding and protecting children in a school or a church. Many schools and youth serving organizations are needing teachers quickly to fill positions. This is where mistakes are made or there are holes in the school's hiring process. Teachers and school officials need to know how to spot red flag behavior or tricky behavior like when a teacher wants to have one on one time with students. It’s important for schools to allow teachers to understand their own cognitive bias, like when school staff may say say, “oh I would never think that student would ever do that.” Peer to peer abuse is happening and it’s important to bear that in mind abuse does not discriminate based on age, intellectual disability, race, socioeconomic status or religion. Adults need to challenge their cognitive biases as we all have them. This is part of the training that teachers, school officials and staff will receive with the Erin’s law mandate.
This helps perpetrators understand that safe adults are in the room aware of what a typical perpetrator does and this kind of manipulation will be handled swiftly by notifying the proper channels of communication and the authorities. In other words, the safe adults will ensure to protect the most vulnerable population in the school, the students. No secrets are kept in this school and red flag behavior will immediately be seen and school teachers will know what to do if they see a tricky behavior.
Myths and Misinformation
There are many myths that parents may assume in starting to learn about child abuse prevention programs like Erin’s law. It’s important to know that starting the conversation with yourself about the current data on child abuse is important. Please know the date is grossly underreported that ¼ girls and ⅙ boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. A parent can consider their own personal upbringings and what they have learned to no longer pass down to their own child. Perhaps parents were never taught about their own body or they were taught to be ashamed of their body. In many instances, parents of the 80s & 90s may have been likely uncomfortable to ensure their child was safe.
Parents can begin taking the first step in understanding how they can start with one book at bedtime. A book called Talking About Feelings by Jayneen Sanders is a wonderful way to introduce the identification of feelings to your kindergarten aged child. Jayneen Sanders has a plethora of posters parents can also laminate and put up in their children’s play room. Teachers can also access those posters to place in their classrooms. This signals to a perpetrator that manipulation and secrecy will immediately be called out on them due to the informed safe adults in the room.
I am a bilingual (English/Spanish) LCSW that works with parent survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I provide EMDR therapy that helps process their old wounds. I also empower parents on how to start and have ongoing conversations on body safety with their children. This enables parents to become more educated on their child’s needs and to offer open communication within families. Schedule a free 15 minute introductory call here, email me here or call 803-573-0279.
